Ditch The Checklist!
We’ve all created “the list.” You know, the notorious checklist of items we all come up with in our journals, with friends, on our vision boards and in our manifesting pursuits. Often, these lists have things like “abs like Hrithik Roshan, dance moves like Tiger Shroff, the charisma of Diljit Dosanjh…” or, speak to more general characteristics like being rich, handsome, vegetarian, a non-smoker or tall. And of course, this goes both ways – men have their lists of female beauty and intelligence that can be just as specific (and include the likes of Katrina Kaif and her Bollywood counterparts, alongside other expectations that we sometimes assign to women).
But, looks fade. And the qualities that we sometimes think are a catch end up just being not enough down the road as we get to know someone or develop intimate relationships. So, what really remains if everything on the list eventually disintegrates?
Here are 5 quality traits to consider adding to your list as you continue your dating journey to find the ‘One’ for you:
1. Mutual Respect
This is arguably the most important quality to a relationship. But it requires bigger qualities that allow for mutual respect to exist within a partnership. We all know the “bad boi” persona pretty well – think of Luxman before his long-lost brother Ram gave him a makeover and a reality check after he lost his boo to silly, immature games. The lesson here? Ditch Laxman and get to know Ram. Embrace maturity, empathy, honest, authentic connection with someone who holds qualities of caring and respectfulness. Only then can you achieve mutual respect levels.
(Yes, we realize this analogy won’t make sense to those who haven’t watched Main Hoon Naa, but hey, it’s a great movie to consider as you get in the mode of finding love this summer or just need some outfit inspiration haha)
2. You vibe
You know what this one means because you grew up watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai just like the rest of us. Whether you’re Team Tina or Team Anjali, you were taught that undeniable chemistry can only be successfully pursued with honesty, transparency and vulnerability on both ends of the relationship. So, although “vibing” technically takes about as much effort as a 90s choreographed Bollywood song, low key, it feels easy and breezy because you’re on the same wavelength.
3. How you resolve conflict together
Every couple fights. And before we dish out the drama, let’s reel it back and consider the fact that all couples have disagreements – from big ones to the smallest ones. How you resolve conflict together provides you with key insight on how your relationship with your partner operates. Most importantly, it also shows you how you and your partner communicate with one another when things go wrong, get hard, or when you’re just not on the same page.
4. How they make you feel when you’re sad
Ever wonder what makes every SRK movie so romantic? No matter how bratty or annoying his characters can be, they also have a loveable side to them that isn’t afraid to be compassionate and understanding. Queue every cute montage where Rahul, Raj and Veer support their leading ladies – not just when they’re sad, but throughout all of their changing moods and life experiences.
5. They actively want to grow with you
In order for relationships to last, growth is a key factor in keeping them healthy. This one’s important because it sheds light on important traits like commitment and longevity. But not only so – it also shows that growing with you is an ongoing process and effort from your partner. And who doesn’t want someone to be their teammate, homie, and romantic partner all at once? Talk about an adventure!
Do you have any similar qualities you look for when you’re dating? Let us know in the comments below.
Happy swiping!