Why You Shouldn’t Settle for Just 60-70% in a Relationship

So, you watched this new season of Indian Matchmaking over the summer. And just like Season 1, Sima Aunty provided lectures about settling for 60-70% of what you actually want in a relationship. Ick. Step back from Seema a lil’ bit. You know that if you’re thinking of settling or compromising, you’re already stamping an expiration date on your relationship. Here are 5 really bad reasons for settling for a relationship.
1. You feel like you’re running out of time As South Asians, the broadest and most intimate details are already mapped out for us the second we’re born. Our career paths, the age we get married, hell, even the age range that’s appropriate for child-bearing are mapped out for us by our loving, sometimes overbearing families. So, we bet it’s hard to truly digest the idea that “running out of time” is a phony concept. Life isn’t a race. Neither are your needs or wants. You don’t need to be engaged by 22 and married by 25. So, don’t abandon your checklist of things you’re looking for in a relationship and in a partner. Take the time you need to figure out what you want and attract a man or woman who is more than just alright.
2. You’re underestimating lifestyle choices You gotta factor in how you live your life with how you date. If your choices are very different from your partner’s, it can be difficult to find middle ground. Let’s say you’re ready for marriage and kids, but the person you’re dating isn’t. Or, maybe you want to take it slow and chill, but the person you’re dating wants to take it to the next level. It’s not hard to assume that both of you will eventually be dealing with tons of friction and disagreement because you’re in different places in life. You gotta ask yourself what makes you happy. What do you want? What do you need? Then, act on it! You are responsible for your own happiness, so set it on your terms!

3. You don’t stick to what you want because the FOMO is real With so many options out there, it can be tough to actually stick to what we’re looking for. But, if you’re making a non-negotiables list and not sticking to it, you’re in for some major confusion and heartbreak. We all know what happens when we compromise too much in relationships: we forget about ourselves. So, filter out all the noise – all of the opinions, timelines, and any potential baes who don’t tick off the non-negotiables on your list. You save yourself a lot of negativity, resentment, disrespect and toxicity in the long run.

4. You’re sick of being single Ah, yes. We’ve all been here. Whether you call it a dry spell, a rough patch, or a straight up drought, we’ve all been sick of being single at one point or another. A solution to this can be rushing into a relationship, but that may be a bad one. When you rush into a relationship, you blind yourself from red flags and incompatibilities, including a lack of emotional and mental support.  We all want to be in relationships where we feel safe and loved at the very least (duh!) so don’t rush into anything that makes you feel lonely and frustrated just because you’re single.

5. You don’t allow yourself to have fun during the dating process Sum up all the problems above and you’re probably thinking of a million things when you’re out on your hundredth first date. Yes, dating can be super complicated and somewhat messy (thanks to human emotions, which are hella extra compared to cool, simple logic) but what’s the point of doing so if you’re not gonna have fun during the entire process?  You’re dating FOR YOU so take the opportunity to experience something new – be it a new activity in your city, a new restaurant, or experiencing meeting a new person (which is kinda the point of dating as is). Inhale, exhale, you got this. Whether you’re looking to date casually, searching for a short-term relationship, a long-term one, or want to ease into something before you label it, Dil Mil is the place for you to find a special someone.  P.S. We just relaunched in Canada, so check out the app – Build your profile & meet someone new today!  Get On Dil Mil