How to Have the "What Are We?" Conversation without Having the "What Are We?" Conversation - Dil MIl Blog
How to Have the âWhat Are We?â Conversation without Having the âWhat Are We?â Conversation
Pyar dosti hai, until it isnât. Thereâs always that awkward moment in every budding romance where itâs clear that youâre more than flirty friends â youâre definitely into each other, but you havenât really talked about where itâs going. Itâs time to have THAT conversation, but that conversation seriously sucks. The âwhat are weâ talks are usually so awkward and uncomfortable, and it would be easier if you could just skip it all and move on to the part where youâre just happy and in love (or strong like). Weâve gotchu fam. Here are a few ways to help you have the âwhat are we?â conversation without really HAVING the âwhat are we?â conversation.
1. Know what you want.
Write down what your ideal scenario is, and where you want to be at the end of this conversation. If it was entirely up to you, what course would your relationship take? Are you ready to get into something serious, or do you just want the peace of mind that theyâre not dating anyone else right now either?Â
Thereâs a reason girls vet their texts with guys with the bff group chat before responding. Having an outsiderâs perspective helps you see red (or green flags) that you may have a blind spot for because of personal biases. You might be playing it safe because youâre scared of putting yourself out there, or you might be ignoring some major flags because you desire a specific outcome! Before you broach the âwhere are weâ conversation, talk it through with a friend and get their help identifying clues the other person may have already given you about where they are. This will help you go into the conversation prepared and hopefully avoid any major surprises.
3.Remember who you are (an icon).
Hype yourself up before you go into the conversation, and enter it with confidence. No matter what happens, remember that you are a catch and you donât need this external validation to keep being your badass self. Play some Lizzo and Doja Cat, and make sure you do your daily affirmations that day.
4.Donât put it off.
Once the thought has entered your mind that it might be time to have âthe talkâ, thereâs no point putting it off. Youâre just going to psych yourself out and let that self-doubt creep in the longer you let yourself think about it. Our brains love a good self sabotage, but knowing where you stand is better for everyone long-term. No matter the outcome, itâs better to know what youâre getting into before itâs too late and youâre stuck sitting in your room heartbroken listening to Bewafa or Drivers Licence on repeat.
5.Be honest about where you are.
You canât control what the other person is feeling or expect them to say exactly what you need to hear, but you can be open about where you are. Donât manufacture your answer around what you think the other person will say, donât beat around the bush, and donât create a âperfectâ conversation in your mind and let your expectations get carried away. Once you know what you want, be honest and let them know you want them to know where you stand, no strings attached. This way youâre opening the floor to have the conversation, but also giving them the space to come to you when theyâre ready.